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This February I’m delighted to say The Love Book will be available in the UK and overseas for the first time.  It’s a story that’s particularly close to my heart (if you’ll excuse the pun), as it begins right here in Whitefriar Street, Dublin, where St Valentine’s relics are preserved in Our Lady of Mount Carmel Church, and his shrine there is visited daily by those seeking to find, or giving thanks for, love.

The story begins with three schoolgirls visiting the shrine one autumn day in 1981 to write their petitions for love to St Valentine in the wire bound copybook left at the shrine for this purpose (hence the title of the book - which is set between Dublin, New Orleans and Morro Bay, California). 

Thirty years later, when the girls are in their forties, one of them returns home unexpectedly from California, and when they reunite, they are forced to reflect and examine the choices they made in their lives and wonder if they were to do it all again, would they wish for the same things?  

It’s a question I often ask myself, and I’m sure you do too.  If you could do it all again, live your life over, what would you do differently, if anything?

Looking back, there are episodes I’d rather forget, of course, things I wish I’d handled better, or certainly more sensitively when I was younger - but strictly speaking - I wouldn’t change a thing. Why?  Because I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I had. 

Sure, there might have been better, more advantageous choices to be made, paths to be taken, relationships to have avoided - but in their own way each choice, decision, or person, has taught me something valuable about myself - sometimes something I would rather have not known - but nonetheless enlightening, if challenging.  And that’s the whole point of life, and love, isn’t it?  To keep learning, growing, evolving - hopefully for the better.  It can be a difficult lesson to learn.  Change can be an intimidating prospect, not just to ourselves but to those around us.  Often there are a lot of people (including friends and family) who have a great deal invested in keeping you just the way you are.  They mean well, of course, but when somebody changes or evolves, particularly within a relationship, it can be threatening to those closest to you.  And sometimes, that change is inflicted on you, whether you are ready and willing, or not.

When I was younger, I used to worry I would never ‘get it right’.  Now I know you never do.  And you know what?  Neither does anyone else.  I believe whatever choices you make in your life there will be equal joys and sorrows along the way.  Some people are just better at hiding the bad times, and I don’t see much point in doing that.  When the bad times come (and they will) that’s when you will often find love at work in your life in the most unexpected manner. 

If you find yourself stuck, or repeating the same mistakes over and over, then my advice to you is to do some work on yourself (if you don’t, life has a way of making you face up to what you need to work on one way or another).  Counselling or therapy can be a life changing experience, often the best investment you can ever make in yourself.  When we stop blaming other people for what is wrong in our lives and ask the question: could I possibly have something to do with this? That is the beginning of wisdom.

So you see there’s really no point in wishing things were, or had been ‘different’.  Even if they had been, there would still be triumphs and disasters to negotiate.  The trick is to roll with the punches, and try to learn the lessons along the way. Try not to hurt other people, and try not to hurt yourself while you’re at it. 

As for love, well, it can show up at the most unlikely times and in the most unlikely places.  I should know (that’s another story).  Sometimes I get it right, sometimes I don’t.  But I’m thoroughly enjoying the journey.  It hasn’t always been easy - but I still wouldn’t change a thing.  

And if you or someone you know are still searching for love, why not try visiting St Valentine’s shrine in Whitefriar Street Church? 

The love book will still be there, open at the latest blank page, ready for you to write your very own request.  What have you got to lose? It might be the beginning of a beautiful story... 

Fiona x

 

© 2013 Fiona O'Brien

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